How to organize your wedding and not die trying

by Inma del Valle
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"ALT"how to organize your wedding happiness"

How to organize your wedding and not die trying

By Rosa del Valle 

It’s been 6 hours since you said yes, I will marry you. You have sent hundreds of wasap audios to all your contacts in the last few hours. The video of your boyfriend kneeling in the restaurant while the mariachis sang: “What a cool woman! That look is killing me, I’m going to convince her”, circulates through the networks like wildfire and threatens to go viral.

The headache caused by the tequila and the excitement have barely allowed you to sleep a wink all night.  In spite of that, you get up because you don’t want to waste a single minute – you have a wedding to organise!  As you brush your teeth, you repeat over and over again, splashing the mirror: “Everything will be perfect, it has to be perfect”. First beginner’s mistake.  Go back to the starting point and start playing again. If you continue along this path you go straight to the precipice.

Perfection and wedding do not go hand in hand

Last-minute surprises and wedding planning do fit into the same sentence. You have 298 days and six hours left to learn how to dodge, cope with  and laugh at and with the unexpected.  It’s half past seven in the morning. Your partner, without being able to open his eyes yet, whispers:

– Where are you going at this hour… my little darling, woman’s pimp? – You should be moved by what he has told you.  You should give up doing what you were going to do. Instead, what do you do? You answer: “I have hundreds of things to organize for the wedding in the next 298 days.

– “And the 500 times we said were absolutely unnecessary. How clever Antonio Orozco is!” -Your boyfriend covers himself with his pillow avoiding the knives you’re going to start throwing.

– I’ll pretend I didn’t hear you. When you get up, start writing your guest list. It’s essential”.

– No,  in the end, the Paqui and Benito wedding will seem like child’s game… I can see it coming. -The preparations and the organization of Paqui’s wedding was a tragedy, an accumulation of absurdities that began with the cry of: “Everything has to be perfect” and ended in a resounding divorce with the cry of: “The ham knife is mine. My cousin Mariano gave it to me”.

When you start organising your wedding, you have three options:

First: You take care of everything yourself, making it clear to the passive subject what it means to be passive. It is forbidden to look with a frown over your glasses. It is forbidden to twist your nose all the time as if you had just been kicked in the kidneys.

Second: which may seem the best, but in reality it is a death trap: you both take charge, either by sharing the tasks or by doing them all together. If you choose the distribution, the singing voice will cross his or her fingers so that  he or she can choose those tasks that are considered  of vital importance.

– “I want to choose the photographer, the decoration, the catering and the distribution of the tables. You make sure there is toilet paper in the bathrooms and chewing gum. I declare you in charge of all those little details that in the end make the difference”.  If it doesn’t work out, you’ll hear yourself telling your friends: “You’ll see what kind of photographer this one chooses for me.  He is so mean and  he has that fucking mania for saving money, that in the end we’ll have to eat hot dogs and the ham and chorizo empanada that his aunt Pepa makes. Wine and soda in abundance. What a party!”

If, on the other hand, you decide to do everything together, don’t lose your way. You have to have fun. Whatever happens, laugh because in the end life can be summed up in just two words: What a need!

And finally the third, last and possibly most practical of all options to avoid all the previous scenarios: Hire a wedding planner who will take care of everything.

Know the limitations

If there is something important in this life to move forward, it is to be clear about your limitations. Because if your ability to manage internal conflicts with yourself or with the rest of the world is zero, don’t hesitate. If you know beforehand that everything will be a source of discord, don’t hesitate. If you simply want to enjoy your day without the stress of preparation, without the pressure of everyone being happy, don’t hesitate.

And when you finally hire your wedding planner, do it being aware that they are true professionals.  They don’t need you calling them constantly to tell them about your dramas, which surely aren’t that bad.

If Mario Picazo has said that on your wedding day  it is going to rain cats and dogs, why do you call your wedding planner crying? Do you think he’s going to get into a helicopter and fly over the perimeter spraying the clouds with anti-rain gases until they dissolve? Do you ask the dentist when you go to get more composite when you get a filling?  Of course not. So leave everything in the hands of your organiser and he will stress out for you if necessary and find the solution to all your problems. You, just relax and enjoy. 

Just enjoy your day

It’s your day, probably the only one that you  will live those emotions. Don’t boycott it yourself because in the end you will end up saying the horrible and fateful phrase: “I can’t wait for it to happen now…”.

I’ve been married twice. On the first occasion everything that could go wrong happened, but I had the time of my life. If my sister leaves me, I’ll tell  you that story  the next day… On the second occasion the mariachis and my boyfriend sang “What a cool woman!” and nothing else mattered.

How to organize your wedding and not die trying


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