A different kind of honeymoon

by Inma del Valle
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"ALT"exciting honeymoon"

A different kind of honeymoon

By Rosa del Valle

I love to travel. For me, airports are like hundreds of books to be written, thousands of incredible stories to be told. I get excited with the passengers that go out  through the doors. It makes me cry when they meet others holding banners or bouquets of flowers on the verge of crying.  I get nervous with those who run as if they were going to miss the last chance to meet the love of their life.  These two feelings are perfectly identified in my mind.

"ALT""beautiful yacht in Mallorca"

However, there is something I cannot define in one word.   It is what I feel when I see those brides who still wear their wedding bun on their heads.  They are unmistakable. The trail left by  the lacquer on their heads  could be considered  a crime according to the law of odorous pollution.  

If I wake up every morning as if I were a witch, how is it possible for them to keep that chignon intact after the wedding night and even after the post-wedding night? There’s something wrong…

"ALT"a different kind of honeymon"

How many girls of my generation will have dreamt when we were little about waiting until the wedding night for our first time! How many will have made it? Because… life is always putting obstacles in our way. We managed to overcome some of them.

"ALT""yacht in Mallorca sea"

Inevitably, we stumble over others and end up falling. When you realize, you are a recidivist and after a lot of falling and falling, even injuring yourself in the falls, you cry, but smiles with relief. You think about all the surprises that you could have had that fateful night if it wasn’t for your weakness and your obstacles. The smile turns into laughter when, on top of that, you imagine yourself standing there with your head held high so as not to spoil your bun.

"ALT"a different kind of honeymon"

Agreeing on the destination

And the honeymoon begins.  A couple may disagree on certain  things and nothing happens. I explained in the first entry how to overcome these differences. But what happens when one of the two is always thinking about the next destination and the other is already satisfied with seeing Callejeros viajeros?  I suppose that is what lawyers will later call irreconcilable differences.

"ALT"happiness in Japan"

Different types of trips and enjoyment

When it comes to your life’s journey, people tend to throw their house out of the window. They prefer to opt for exotic destinations that they sometimes don’t even know how to locate on a map.  Before you get married, I would ask you the following question: Would you go on your honeymoon with your partner to a cottage  without great luxuries, lost in the hand of God? Would you be willing to spend 10 days locked up there without television or mobile coverage? If the answer is yes, congratulations. That relationship is promising.  

On the other hand, the bride with the chignon rolls her eyes when she hears the question.  It is her honeymoon, unique and unrepeatable and she decides to get on a plane to the Riviera Maya. As soon as the emergency lights go out, her already husband opens his backpack.  He pulls out a fuet bar that he cuts with a Swiss Army knife. I can’t imagine how he got through the security checks.  

In 10 hours of transoceanic flight, he eats the whole fuet bar, a loaf of bread and 2 cans of foie gras.  I’m beginning to understand why he has opted for the all-inclusive 5-star resort. The cottage with no food, fucking from sun to shade will never be able to compete with the free buffet.

9 days and 7 nights later the girl in the bow and the piranha return to their future love nest. The bride has abandoned the bun. She has replaced it with hundreds of little braids that do not even allow her to blink. This way I look at her husband… without being able to blink. On this occasion, he takes out of his rucksack eight flavoured yoghurts that he swallows while he talks to half the passengers on the plane.

I deduce that they belong to that very large group of couples who make friends during their honeymoon. In addition to friends, they have made 6 excursions and their feet are shattered.

This leads me to divide couples into two types. 

Two types of couples:

On the one hand, those who organise marathon days with a schedule that they follow to the letter. They have to see everything, even if it means never stopping for a beer.

On the other hand, those who travel without a timetable, have breakfast when they get up, start drinking mojitos at 11 am, eat when they feel hungry and spend the rest of the time in their room. They will come back another time to see something.

"ALT"honeymoon in Italy"


Whether you choose to stay in the hut, visit places without stopping until you are exhausted, or enjoy gastronomic tourism, the important thing is to come back together and happy. Don’t think that’s so simple… but I’ll tell you about that in another post.

A different kind of honeymoon

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