Love and / or sex for all your life?

by Inma del Valle
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Love and / or sex for all your life? by Rosa del Valle

"ALT" Love and sex as a couple"

“Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions”

Some people say that sex is not that important. I imagine they are the same enlightened ones who claim that money does not bring happiness, or the ones who swear, without shame, that if they won the lottery they would continue working. My grandmother used to say: “Darling, in this world there must be people for everything”.

It is very easy to say all these things when you lack nothing. The problem comes when the shortages come… that’s when you realise whether or not you can really live without all those things.

Sex with your couple should be like your favourite dish, the one that when you get home and ask what’s for dinner, when you find out the answer your face lights up as if you had just been told you’re going to eat at the restaurant of the best chef in the world. It doesn’t matter if you eat the same thing every day because you always end up licking your fingers.

It’s true that, throughout our lives, we’ve all eaten dishes that end up disgusting us, but then you find one in particular that always makes your mouth water. Imagine how upset you would be if you arrived one day and suddenly the chef told you that the restaurant was closed and that you had to come back tomorrow.

Decide between love and/or sex for all your life

The next day you come back and it’s closed again and so on every day for a while. That period of time is an eternity for you because you want to lick your plate, that delicacy that you have been so eagerly tasting for years. At first you resign yourself to it, but at night you dream of your dish, in fact, you keep going to the kitchen to see if you’re lucky, but nothing, it’s closed.

One night, you think… “Ummm… I’ve seen a restaurant where I’ve been promised that they’ll cook the same thing for me. No, no, I have to be faithful to my dish, but…with the hunger I’m going through, what can I do?” And so, your little angel and your demon debate for a while until one day you pass by the new restaurant and the pleasant smell that emanates from its windows tempts you in such a way that you go into the kitchen.

Sex with love tastes better

The ideal relationship is one where you both share a love for food and the kitchen never closes. Paul Newman used to say: “Why eating a hamburger outside when you have a sirloin steak at home? And he said it himself, who was in love with the same woman for 50 years.

There is a phrase that has always caused great concern among aspiring husbands and wives and it is none other than: “You fuck less than a married man”. Some even say it with nervous laughter before getting married.

Is it true or just an urban legend? – says your girlfriend trying to hide her concern.

-You’re kidding. That will never happen to us. We’ll always be the passionate ones, looking for any corner where we can tear off our clothes. -If your girlfriend was smart, she’d make you sign it on paper, like a contract, so she could report you if you broke it.

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“Only the unison of sex and heartbeat can create ecstasy.

The 90/10 principle states that 10% of life is related to what happens to you, and the remaining 90% is related to how you react. Throughout your marriage there will be many circumstances that will test you as a couple and will make you think about love and / or sex for all your life. Your attitude to problems will be what saves your relationship or takes you to the abyss, or in other words, to that restaurant where it smells wonderful. I am going to mention a few so that you can measure the % of attitude in your case.


What about those men who refuse to make love, let alone fuck like savages, because they think they are mistreating their future child with their laser sword?

You can also find the opposite case… How many times have you not wished you could hang a ten-kilo rucksack on their back and then, lying on the bed, on their side, tell them: “Now turn over, and quickly, I don’t have all day”?

Problems and the right attitude


That period of 40 days and 40 nights that can become so long that, long before it ends, you will have already decided to try and see what happens if you skip those deadlines that are not contracted anywhere.

Or, on the contrary, it could be that those 40 nights turn into Joaquín Sabina’s 500 and then you will feel irremediably attracted even by the unmistakable smell of any junk food restaurant. Your sense of smell will no longer distinguish between steak, hamburger or reheated fried food.

Your child’s first year

Anything can happen here to make you think about love and / or sex for all your life. On the one hand, there are couples who suddenly decide that it is better for the child to sleep with one of them so that the other can rest. They will occasionally bump into each other around the house, but the promise of biting each other’s clothes off will be forgotten. Everything is respectable, but like this… bad and even if you think everything is going well… no, it’s going badly… and you know it.

There are also those couples who, even though they sleep together, are “afraid” to do anything because “with the child there”…as if the child understands or cares about what you are doing. These are often the same people who used to imagine their laser sword piercing some limb of their future child’s foetus and now when they see the baby staring at them they think it is judging them.

And finally, those who know that between bottle and bottle there are 3 hours on the clock. Has he fallen asleep? Yes!!! ¡¡¡¡Run, now!!!! 10 minute .Aghhhhhhh, ummmm…. yesiiiiii…Let´s sleep again.

Love and / or sex for all your life

Little children

There are several options here too. The ones with the laser sword, before they didn’t want to fuck up an organ for their children and now they don’t want to be the cause of a trauma for eternity. What if he wakes up? Maybe he enters the room now? What if we get caught… It’s OK, we’ll make love one day when she stays with her grandparents. When that day comes, you are so tired that… “For one day we can sleep peacefully… see you tomorrow”.

And the others: “Close the door, run, he’s sleeping like a log! Hahahaha.

-What are you laughing at?

-At the shock he’s going to get if he gets up and doesn’t notice that the door is closed.

-Hahahahaha. Let him learn not to bother, he’s a pain in the ass.

When they grow


On the one hand: -Oh, not now, they already know everything. They know what we’re doing and they’re going to think we’re giving them carte blanche to do whatever they want. We wouldn t be a good example for them. Let it go, let it go… we’ve been in the dry dock for 17 years… a few days up, a few days down, it doesn’t matter.

On the other hand: The two of us sitting on the sofa (wasap)

-What time did they say they were leaving?

-At five o’clock.

-I saw you taking off your thong a few seconds ago. (Smiling face).

-Hahahahaha. Let’s see if they’ll get the fuck out of here. I’ve hidden the keys so they can’t get back in if they forget something.

-I love you and know that I’ll be licking that plate for the rest of my life.

"ALT" love or sex for all your life.

“I love you above all things and underneath the sheets”.

The importance that each couple places on sex varies greatly, from those who can’t live without it to those who believe that love alone is enough. I don’t know if everything can be solved in bed, but it certainly calms the nerves a lot and that’s enough to make love last at least a little bit longer…

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